10 Ways To Get Over A Breakup

First thing is first, shut down your emotions. Not forever, just for a second so that you can think clearly as you read this.
One thing that I want you to understand is that life will continue whether you choose to sulk or begin to pick up the pieces. So, stop crying. It does hurt, every woman has been there at least once and more than likely it will happen again. Your pain is seen and understood but you can’t allow it to consume your life. So let’s begin:
  1. BLOCK his ass! If he walked away, he is not worried about how you feel at the moment no matter what he would like you to believe. Most men believe that telling a woman what she likes to hear will diffuse the situation until she learns to live without him. No. It honestly does not work that way. Block his social media profiles, and his number. If he’s your child’s father, specifically turn on the “do not disturb” feature on your phone ON. The faster you stop giving him attention, the faster he will realize his mistakes. Men and women work backwards when it comes to grieving a relationship. When we are done hurting is exactly when they begin, so start now or you’ll never hear the apology that you feel you so desperately need at the moment (which you don’t but you will realize later on).
  2. Find a hobby for your free time. If you work, read a book during your free time. If you have more time on your hands than you like, find new creative ways to keep yourself busy. For me, I began to delve into self education, I started working out more frequently, I focused on making myself “look” pretty. The goal is to occupy your time so that you can think less and less of your ex. There will be times when you don’t want to do that, but guess what? That’s okay. You don’t have to be strong 100% of the time. As long as you’re not crying and falling into the cycle of self-pity, then cry it out for a couple minutes and then adjust yourself.
  3. Make a new guy friend. I’m not saying, go hook up with a random guy or let it all loose. Nine out of ten, he’s already moved on. It happened to me. A day later he was literally with someone else, even moved her into our apartment a few weeks later. You know what I did? I made friends. There was no romantic involvement, there was no sexual encounters, but just being in the presence of my male friend made me feel better. He wasn’t my daughter’s father and he didn’t live up to the pedestal I held my ex on for years but you know what? He made me laugh, he was encouraging of my endeavours, he listened. As women sometimes we are comforted more by speaking than by laying down with a man. Men do not work that way, they comfort and fill their voids in between a woman’s legs. In the end, that is why we become stronger. Don’t look to replace him, don’t attempt to do what he is, simply distract your mind.
  4. GO OUT. Have fun. Don’t get sloppy drunk because no one wants to be friends with “that” girl but do go out. Take a pole dancing class. Go out for a night in the town with your friends. Treat yourself to a massage. Try to be outdoors, even if it means sitting at the park reading a good book. Get fresh air and stop suffocating yourself in pain.
  5. Get a new look. Don’t cut your hair, we always regret it but how about, trying a new hairstyle? Possibly adding some highlights, or trying a new shade of lipstick. Change something. Psychologically, this is for you to get used to the idea of change. Your status has changed, maybe your hair, or shade of lipstick should too. Just don’t go overboard.
  6. Post selfies. Don’t hibernate. Take nice pictures, post them, and don’t focus on the likes or comments. Chances are, that if you blocked your ex and it has been a few days, he may be curious as to why you’re not blowing up his phone. That takes me to my next suggestion…
  7. DO NOT TEXT HIM. This is easier said than done but just follow my advice. The moment you show him that you care, he will stop. Men are immature. They see everything as a war or a game of chess and they will really wait for your next move to see if they will put effort into caring or not. Do not  give him the upper hand, if it hurts, for all purposes pretend like it does not.
  8. Stop speaking about him. Ever hear the phrase “out of sight, out of mind”? It works. End of story.
  9. That goes for belongings. If you can’t throw them out, put them away in the farthest end at the bottom of your bed or somewhere you won’t look for any of it. I’ll bet anything he’s already moved your things aside to move in the next victim.
  10. Turn the pain into inspiration. For so long you took care of someone else and this person has left you broken? Uh, hello! Take that and turn it into something great. Don’t let the fear or doubt stop you. Do something whether it is writing, blogging, painting, creating a business, mentoring… whatever the case may be. Take your pain and turn it into a positive thing. There’s nothing more inspiring than seeing someone who is completely broken, make themselves whole. Do that for yourself.

Categories: RelationshipsTags: , , , , , , , ,


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