Being a single mom hasn’t come easy and seven months later I am STILL struggling with it. It’s not something you expect to become or foresee becoming, at least not in my case. I wanted what every woman wants, a man head over heels for me, a wedding for the ages, and our growing family. I wanted our children to admire us as adults because mommy and daddy were a team who conquered through every obstacle together. Still, somehow I am here… sitting on the bed, watching my little girl dream her sweet dreams and typing away as my heart still breaks. I’ve experienced things and emotions that I never imagined. Somehow, life has continued. I’ve watched life continue as if I I were standing still watching it.
These past seven months though, have taught me a lot about myself. The woman that I am, have been, and continue to grow into to. I’ve fought uphill, alone, for my daughter and I. Over these last seven months, I’ve accomplished so much and although I still feel like I haven’t done enough, I AM proud of myself. Sometimes it’s the little battles you’ve won that you need to be thankful for. They are the ones that prepare you for the big wins. They are the ones that shape you. No, I didn’t want to ever become a single mother. It was my biggest fear manifest itself. It was a fear that I’ve face head on, through tears, anger, hope of a better future, and a vision that I will now manifest for my daughter and me. I will show her how resilient I am, I will show her strength, I will show her that although we may not want to do things alone, we are more than capable to. More than that, I need to prove it to myself. I hate where I am in life, but I needed to be here to understand my strength. To remind myself of my abilities. No, sometimes we don’t like where we are but we have to trust that where we are is preparing us for where we want and are destined to be. And YES, those two things can be one in the same.